MM: Sidewalk Prophets-“Keep Making Me”

This Monday, please listen to Sidewalk Prophets’ “Keep Making me” by clicking HERE BEFORE reading how this song has influenced my life. I want to hear what this song means to you! I want to hear what it stirs in your heart and I want to know how I can pray for you. Visit the contact page and send me a message through there or email me at summer@lifewithschyff.com

Keep Making Me~Sidewalk Prophets Lyrics

Make me broken
So I can be healed
‘Cause I’m so calloused
And now I can’t feel
I want to run to You
With heart wide open
Make me broken

Make me empty
So I can be filled
‘Cause I’m still holding
Onto my will
And I’m completed
When you are with me
Make me empty

‘Til You are my one desire
‘Til You are my one true love
‘Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me

Make me lonely
So I can be Yours
‘Til I want no one
More than You, Lord
‘Cause in the darkness
I know You will hold me
Make me lonely

Have you ever prayed a “scary” prayer? One where you were not sure you really wanted to say or mean the words? I can remember a few years ago praying for God to transform me. I found it written in an old journal, “I realize that this might mean going through some hard trials, but all I want is to be fully devoted to you. Change my heart and mind, transform me, Lord.”

I already had the OCD and it was already making me depressed at the time I wrote that. I already believed I was a horrible person full of sinful thoughts (the OCD thoughts of harming people, which I now realize are not sinful).

So there I was thinking maybe God would send me something that would somehow change my thoughts; make me stop thinking horrible things. Instead, He just looked down at me compassionately. “Oh, precious daughter! Who told you these horrible lies? I know the real you and when the time is right I will send you exactly what you need to see the truth about who you are to me and the real meaning behind those thoughts that you have. Everything is planned perfectly for what you need. My timing is precise.”

I didn’t expect that I would start having seizures, my health would deteriorate. And that my mental health would become disabling to the point that I could not function. It would lead me to years in the psychiatric hospital, countless ambulance & ER visits, hundreds of tests that only left us with more questions, and even an ICU stay.

I had expectations of how I thought God should run my life…lets all pause to laugh at how small our little minds are.

A lot has happened since I prayed that prayer, it HURT, but let me tell you, it has all been for His good. I have been a total work in progress at all stages in my life, and of course right now. I feel the Lord ‘keeps making me’ change into something different, something better. He’s breaking me down and tearing away all the things I used to think were important. He is slowly chiseling away all of my brokenness.

He’s striping me of all the ‘securities’ I once thought were actually safe.

The devil wants me to feel alone in my journey of learning to manage and defeat OCD, striving to become better, and becoming who I was made to be. I refuse to feel alone in my journey. I know, without a doubt God is with me and surely someone else out there has felt these same emotions and experienced this same changing process. Lord Keep Making Me…

image

Make me broken – I’ve been broken for a long time but God gave me a different perspective
on my brokenness
So I can be healed – If I must be made broken, the reward of healing is worth the pain of breaking.
‘Cause I’m so calloused –Somewhere along the way I was wounded and broken but I didn’t realize then the secrets and hiding created callouses.
And now I can’t feel –Callouses ‘protect’ my emotions.
I want to run to You – He’s the only one I could run to. I’d take the pain and the brokenness a million times over if it were the only thing to cause the yearning in my heart to run to Him like it has these past four years.
With heart wide open – This is the hard part. With heart wide open. How do you really open your heart wide when you’ve been hurt and when the process of cleaning your heart out is incredibly painful?
Make me broken – I’ve certainly been broken now – physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Make me empty – Empty. There’s no feeling quite like it. I remember feeling absolutely nothing. I wanted to die at the time. Empty is lonely.
So I can be filled – I had to be emptied so I could make room to be filled, but filled only with Him this time around. Empty me so I can be filled with nothing but God.
‘Cause I’m still holding – Holding, indeed. Sometimes even with a death grip.
Onto my will – Yup, my will. My stupid, stupid will. Why would I ever think my plans for my life would be better than the Father’s? I don’t know, but I’m still tempted to hang onto my stupid, stupid will. It’s silly, I know, but I’m learning to surrender.
And I’m completed – Finally completed!
When you are with me –Only when you are with me. Please be with me.
Make me empty – Make me empty, so I can be filled with YOU.

[Chorus:]

Til You are my one desire – Lord, I want You to be my one desire. For all the times, I’ve put other people and things before you, forgive me.
‘Til You are my one true love – True love. There will be no love like Yours, Lord. Teach me to love like You do. And teach me to accept Your love for me.
image
‘Til You are my breath, my everything – To be my breath. Could you be my breath, Lord? Could you be the words I speak, my every move, the breath I take? Be my breath, Lord.
Lord, please keep making me – Whatever it takes, no matter the price, please keep making me.

Make me lonely – Been there. Lonely. The veil was lifted and the dark reality of loneliness was revealed. You made me lonely. I had to experience that loneliness to desire You fully, though. If there was no other, Lord, but I still had You, I would cease to be lonely. If making me lonely was what it took to create a desire for You that burns deep within me, then make me lonely all over again.
So I can be Yours – Yours. I AM Yours. I don’t always show it, but I am trying. I am Yours.
‘Til I want no one – No one else could fill my longing for You. I don’t want any other more than You, Lord – You are the ultimate. You are perfect. There is no one better.
‘Cause in the darkness – Darkness is inevitable. It’s not a matter of ‘if,’ but rather ‘when’ the darkness will come.
I know You will hold me – my whole life, I have spent asking You to hold me. Hold me in Your arms late at night when I felt all alone; for I know there is no place I’d rather be, but in Your arms, in Your loving embrace.
Make me lonely – Make me lonely all over again if that is what it takes.

[Chorus]

‘Til You are my one desire – The ONLY one.
‘Til You are my one true love – No love will be truer than Your love, Lord.
‘Til You are my breath, my everything – My EVERYTHING. I am nothing without You. Be my everything.
Lord, please keep making, – Never stop making me. Don’t give up on me.
I know You’ll keep making – Jesus, I trust in You. I trust You WILL keep making me.
Lord, please keep making me – Thank you for continuing to make me… YOURS.

Lord, if you need to clean my heart out, to scrap it from deep within because it’s the only way for me to truly see You, then let it be. Take the words of this song and scrape them upon my heart until I’m made into the person You want me to be.

Lord please keep making me…

Again, I want to hear what this song stirred in your heart and I want to know how I can pray for you. Visit the contact page and send me a message through there or email me at summer@lifewithschyff.com

Music Monday “Hold” By Superchick

The message from todays MusicMonday is brought to you by Superchick! This particular song I am focusing on is called “Hold.” You can find the lyrics at the end of the blog!
The most difficult thing about going through a trial is that you go through it alone. Now don’t get me wrong; my friends and family are an incredible blessing and super supportive! I even have many friends who can relate to many aspects of my journey.
My friends and family may emphasize with me and I have so many people I can talk to but there are a lot of things I need to figure out on my own. I can find comfort, support, and even therapy in their presence but at some point they have to go home and tend to their own lives, leaving me to cope, obsess, and do my homework on my own.
music monday hold
God, however,
feels my pain,
never goes home,
and never lets go of my trembling hands…
even when I am not reaching out to Him.
He will always be that hand to hold when we are falling, hurting, frightened, or lonely.
He is the ultimate encourager who gives us what we need right in time (His time, that is). He hears and understands us even when we don’t have the words.

Christ will:

“Help me find a way through all my fears.”
 -When distressing OCD thoughts flood my mind He will be there to help me through it.
“Help me see the light through all my tears.”
 -When I feel convinced that I will never recover from OCD He will shine a light to remind me that one day (although, maybe not here on earth) I will not only live completely OCD free, but also completely suffering free!
“Help me see that I am not alone in this.”
 -I know in my mind that He will NEVER LEAVE ME. I’ve read it time and time again, I’ve even felt his presence and protection a countless number of times but yet I still tend to have difficulty believing it! But it is truth and the bible is full of examples which He uses to remind us!
Psalm 73:23 ESV
“Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.”
Psalm 23:4 ESV
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
Zephaniah 3:17 ESV
“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”
Matthew 28:20 ESV
“Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Next time you’re disappointed because you don’t have a hand to hold, remember our Heavenly Fathers’ hand: always open, always forgiving, always understanding, always comforting!
You may be thinking, “but His hand isn’t real! It’s not visible and tangible! How in the world am I going to find real comfort in something invisible?”
I know it’s different when you are just starting to trust Him. It may seem silly to you at first. That’s understandable for something new (or an old but forgotten practice). Once you begin to trust Him-really trust him-and hold on to His promises you will wonder how you ever managed life without Him! I don’t think experiencing God is the same for any two people. For me the most wonderful part is feeling a sense of calm and a change of attitude when I rest in His presence.
It’s worth it. It’s real. He hears. He understands. He forgives. He LOVES.
He will provide what you need, whether its whispering into your soul that you’re going to be okay, helping you find your way, holding you from falling over the edge, just holding you while you catch yourself from a downward spiral- He will be there holding you.

Listen to the song here!

“Hold” By Superchick Lyrics

Tell me that it’s gonna be okay
Tell me that you’ll help me find my way
Tell me you can see the light of dawn is breaking
Tell me that it’s gonna be all right
Tell me that you’ll help me fight this fight
Tell me that you won’t leave me alone in this

[chorus]
‘Cause I need
I need a hand to hold
To hold me from the edge
The edge I’m sliding over slowly
‘Cause I need
I need your hand to hold
To hold me from the edge
The edge I’m sliding past
Hold on to me

Tell me I can make it through this day
I don’t even have the words to pray
You have been the only one who never left me
Help me find the way through all my fears
Help me see the light through all my tears
Help me see that I am not alone in this

MM#3 “Just Be Held”~Casting Crowns

Sometimes I literally lay face down, not knowing what to do. I’ll be wet with sweat from wrestling with intrusive thoughts and questions that seem to not have answers. Sometimes, I’m on myimage. knees, praying. More often than not, it’s laying across my bed with salty tears slopping down my face or at times too weary to even cry.

My bedroom’s on the second floor and our house is completely non-air-conditioned so in intense heat I may just lay stretched out on the laminate floor, cool against my cheeks (I realize that may be slightly odd..).

Then there comes that moment in prayer: you know the one…when, whether the answer comes or not, the peace splashes over you like a cool, calm, refreshing wave. I roll over on my back-ooking up, and finally resting in God’s love and strength.

Whether I know what’s ahead or not, He knows and He wraps His arms around me (and you!) and infuses us with His strength, His confidence, His grace, and His love.

It is enough for today.

“And when you’re tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There’s freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held”

imageAt some point, we all have to make that decision. To take the next step, DO the [crazy hard] therapy to pull you out of an OCD mess, or whatever it is that sends you to your knees.

But sometimes you just can’t. You are weak and weighed down. That’s when you need to “Lay it down and let it go.” Let go of the fear that won’t let you sit with the anxiety (part of therapy), let go of the anger built up in your relationships, whatever it may be that’s stressing you out.

Lay it at the cross.

Then God steps in and holds you. Actually, it’s not then, it’s before that. He’s holding you all along but you are not able to notice the peace of Gods embrace until you let go of whatever is weighing on your mind…it’s then that you will be free to notice His warm, loving hands holding you.

While He, who is on the throne, is holding you and your eyes are on the cross: you will “Know He’s always loved you and He always will,” because He came to a sin-ridden earth to take it all away in the most horrific, painful, way: through death on a cross. If that’s not the loudest way to say “Child, I love you!” I don’t know what is!

“Your worlds not falling apart, it’s falling into place.”

His plan is DIVINE and perfect. So we can rest assured knowing that our lives are going exactly as planned. When things feel like they are spinning out of control, that’s when we search for the light and really reach for Jesus…which brings us to His arms to be Held. The moments where we know everything is going to be ok.

Listen to the song here!

“Just Be Held” Lyrics

By Casting Crowns
Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you’re tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There’s freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You’ll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You’ll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you’ll understand
I’m painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you’ll find Me
And where you are, I’ll hold your heart
I’ll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won’t let go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held (stop holding on and just be held)
Just be held, just be held, just be held, just be held

MM#2 “Thy Will”~Hillary Scott & the Scott Family

 

“Thy Will” By Hillary Scott and The Scott FamilyHillary-Scott-Thy-Will-Cover (1)

“Thy Will” is a new single from Hillary Scott (the lead singer from Lady Antebellum) and her family.

It is a beautifully worded song that I feel sums up my life over the past few years. I think this is a song many others will relate to as well.

I’m so confused
I know I heard you loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here

I’m confused at why God is bringing me through this health journey and confused at why I’ve ended up in a dark place so very many times.

I don’t wanna think
I may never understand

It’s so hard for me to think that God is going to bring me through all of this heartache and at the end of it all I still may never understand why. Trust. I just keep trusting though because there IS a purpose.

That my broken heart is a part of your plan

How could a loving God include a broken heart in His plan for my life? Doesn’t He love me enough to give me a life I can enjoy? Or even enough to just give my mind an hour-long break every once and a while?

When I try to pray
All I’ve got is hurt and these four words

Thy will be done.

He does love me; I can say that with certainty. In fact, He loves me so much that He is using my brokenness…He sees that the goodness that will come from my broken heart is immensely greater than my life without the hardship. He loves me so much that He wants to bless me with that greater life. The greater times to come.

I know you’re good
But this don’t feel good right now

Oh, I KNOW God is SO good! But yes, this journey does not feel good. It’s horrible, awful, and terrifying. The OCD, the mental torment, and the memories, are extremely painful.

And I know you think
Of things I could never think about

God is DIVINE! He sees, knows, and thinks about things so imagebeyond us humans. We can’t comprehend all the wonders of the universe because we wouldn’t be able to handle it.

It’s hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise

It’s really hard to count my trial of OCD, PTSD, anxiety, depression, and seizures all A JOY because, again, they hurt! It’s hard for me to think and concentrate never mind do anything productive! How am I supposed to count all of that a joy? It’s hard.

Just trying to make sense
Of all your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that you’re God
And I am not

That part couldn’t be more true! How many times each day do I make big plans for my future then God takes me somewhere completely different and unexpected then I get upset or worried that I’m not ‘where I want to be.’ Sometimes I think I know whats best…but I certainly do not! God is the only one who can see the whole picture; I can only see the puzzle pieces.

I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness you have in store
I know you hear me
I know you see me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Good news you have in store

After the honest verses just pouring out heartfelt cries out of grief, this beautiful bridge sums up the true reflection in my heart. The things I surely know to be true.

My prayer and my motto since I’ve discovered this song have been the 4 words of the chorus:

“Thy will be done.”

My prayer for you is that you can hold these 4 words dear as well.

 

Listen to the song on Hillary Scotts official YouTube channel Here.

Here re are the lyrics to the whole song:

“Thy Will” By Hillary Scott

I’m so confused
I know I heard you loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here
I don’t wanna think
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of your plan
When I try to pray
All I’ve got is hurt and these four words

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

I know you’re good
But this don’t feel good right now
And I know you think
Of things I could never think about
It’s hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise
Just trying to make sense
Of all your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that you’re God
And I am not
So

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will

I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness you have in store
I know you hear me
I know you see me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Good news you have in store
So, thy will be done

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord

Music Monday #1

This is the first official LIFEWITHSCHYFF Music Monday! So of course I’m going to share my all-time favourite song with you all! “Shake” by MercyMe is an upbeat celebration song about being changed by God. It is so upbeat you just cannot help wiggling in your seat! (Try not to…I dare you!)

In the chorus they sing, “Shake, shake, shake; like you’re changed, changed, changed. He found me and He set me free and He brought me back to life!”

image
Yes, they are doing the MercyMe “Shake” dance!

The lyrics not only speak of the healing and joy that God Almighty brought to the broken life before they had found Him, but also of the positive changes God brought to life even ‘when everything seemed fine.’

“No matter when it happened; at 7 or 95; move your feet ’cause you are free and you’ve never been more Ali-I-I-ve!”

It’s the perfect song to celebrate the opening of my new website (again, don’t forget to subscribe!!) 

Now, all my readers: Shake, shake, shake, if you’re changed, changed, changed…or shake if you’re excited for my new website and Music Monday’s starting up!image

Have a listen to this song and check out the official music video on YouTube here.

You can also find “Shake” on iTunes! It’s off of their latest album “Welcome to the New.”

 

 

“Shake”

By MercyMe

I just can’t believe
Where my life was at
All that I know is that my heart was broken
And I don’t ever wanna go back

Ain’t no explanation
How I saw the light
He found me and set me free
And it brought me back to life

Blame it on the transformation
Changed down to the core
His love is real
And I can’t sit still
Cause my name’s not shamed no more

Great God Almighty done changed this
Great God Almighty, He done changed me

You gotta shake, shake, shake
Like you’re changed, changed, changed
Brand new looks so good on you
So shake like you’ve been changed

Come on and shake, shake, shake like you’re changed
Shake, shake, shake like you’re changed

Maybe He came to you
When everything seemed fine
Or maybe your world was upside down and hit you right between the eyes
No matter when it happened
At 7 or 95
Move your feet ’cause you are free
And you’ve never been more alive

You gotta shake, shake, shake
Like you’re changed, changed, changed
Brand new looks so good on you
So shake like you’ve been changed

Come on and shake, shake, shake
Like you’re changed, changed, changed
Brand new looks so good on you
So shake like you’ve been changed

Come on and shake, shake, shake like you’re changed
Shake, shake, shake like you’re changed
Shake, shake

Great God Almighty done changed me
Great God Almighty, He done changed me
Great God Almighty done changed me
Great God Almighty, He done changed me

No matter when it happened
At 7 or 95
Move your feet, ’cause you are free
And you’ve never been more alive
You gotta shake, shake, shake
Like you’re changed, changed, changed
Brand new looks so good on you
So shake like you’ve been changed

You gotta shake, shake, shake
Like you’re changed, changed, changed
Brand new looks so good on you
So shake like you’ve been changed

Come on and shake, shake, shake
Like you’re changed, changed, changed
Brand new looks so good on you
So shake like you’ve been changed

Come on and shake, shake, shake like you’re changed
Shake, shake, shake like you’re changed
Shake, shake

Great God Almighty done changed me
Great God Almighty, He done changed me

NOT FOR A MOMENT

“Not for a moment, did you forsake me…” even on the hardest of days.
You were reaching through the storm
walking on the water
even when I could not see
in the middle of it all
when I thought You were a thousand miles away
not for a moment did You forsake me not for a moment did You forsake me
after all You are constant
after all You are only good
after all You are sovereign
not for a moment will You forsake me
not for a moment will You forsake me
You were singing in the dark
whispering Your promise
even when I could not hear
I was held in Your arms
carried for a thousand miles to show
Not for a moment did You forsake me
and every step every breath you are there
every tear every cry every prayer
in my heart at my worst
when my world falls down
not for a moment will You forsake me

 

 even in the dark
even when it’s hard
you will never leave me
after all
not for a moment will You forsake me

 

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